Cancer Blog
By Brian Zimmerman
Begun on July 31, 2021
Email: dyingman1@yahoo.com
My Dying Words
Entry #10
August 31, 2021
“We think about mortality so little, these days, except to flail hysterically at it with trendy forms of exercise and high fiber cereals and nicotine patches. I thought of the Victorian determination to keep death in mind, the uncompromising tombstones: “Remember, pilgrim, as you pass by, as you are now so once was I, as I am now so will you be…”. Now death is uncool, old fashioned”. “In the Woods”, Tana French, pp. 52-53
The Gift of Foreknowledge
As I’ve said before, dealing with death is exceedingly difficult, not just for the patient, but also for family and friends. Knowing that you are going to die is a great gift. I’m grateful that my mode of death is cancer spread over the course of months. I’ve had friends who died instantaneously and unexpectedly. That meant they had no time to prepare themselves for death, no time to prepare their families, no time to set their affairs in order. That to me is a terrible way to go. I know it seems much easier on the patient, but as a Christian, I would rather have time to examine or to prepare for all aspects of my life: my personal stance before God, my family relationships, my financial affairs, etc. My first thought when I found out I had a terminal disease was a concern that I would have enough time to get all the income sources started up: my Social Security income, our fixed index annuity, and my pension from the hospital system. I am so grateful that I have been granted enough time to do just that. It’s such a relief to know the income stream has now been set up for my wife.
Repair and Restore
It also gave me time to let all my children know about my likely impending death to give them time to prepare and to give them the opportunity to discuss with me any unresolved issues. Is there something they need to get off their chest? Something they’ve had against me, but had never felt there was a good time to discuss? Thankfully they’ve had that time to talk with me about any such feelings.
And, it gave me time to let all my friends know so they can prepare. We were able to let each other know that we love and care for one another and have been very grateful for our friendship.
Final Arrangements
And, my wife and I have had the opportunity to discuss the funeral arrangements. At some point – I don’t remember exactly when – several years ago, when my mom died I think (my mom and my dad have both died, as have my younger and older brothers. I was the last one left in our immediate family), we purchased two burial plots next to my parents, my brothers, and my grandmother (on my mother’s side). But, with the cost of funerals these days, we’ve have discussed selling the plots, and electing just to have cremation. I know there may be some Christians who have scruples about cremation as opposed to burial, but I am okay with that option. And, of course, the price is literally about half of the cost a burial. We’re “shopping” now with the Cemetery and several funeral homes about cremation services. I’ll try to write a little about that in another entry. It’s amazingly expensive.
The point is that if you have time to live before you finally die, don’t waste it on just treatments and meds and side effects and frantically searching for a cure. Take time to also to prepare for death and let others help in that preparation.
A friend sent me a link to this article that I found most helpful. You might enjoy it as well:
Don’t Waste Your Cancer | Desiring God
https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/dont-waste-your-cancer