Cancer Blog #62
By Brian Zimmerman
Begun on July 31, 2021
Email: dyingman1@yahoo.com
My Dying Words
Entry #62– Our Refuge
November 16, 2022
[Proverbs 14:32] “The wicked is thrust down by his wrongdoing, but the righteous has a refuge when he dies.”
We find a familiar theme here, the contrast between the wicked and the righteous. The writer says the wicked is overthrown by his wrongdoing. At times it seems the wicked do flourish as the psalms remind us. The wicked burns bright, but not long, like dry grass that flairs when lit, but leaves only ashes behind when it’s gone. They have no hope when they die and so might naturally despair at the approach of death, in fact, may even hasten its arrival if they see how pointless and hopeless their plight truly is. But, for those of us who follow the true king and submit ourselves to Him, this passage offers us great hope. For the writer tells us the terminus of both the wicked and righteous. The wicked ends in defeat, in the ashes of their deeds, but the righteous ends with a place of sanctuary, a place of protection. What joy the righteous may possess as his death approaches. For the Lord provides shelter to us in the time of our greatest need.
When death is near us and we are tempted to be afraid, we can rely on our great Savior to draw nearer than death is able. Our Lord has faced death and walked out of his tomb. He promises that we will do likewise. He is our refuge in the time of our final trial. He will provide the safety that the writer speaks of. Unlike the defeat of the wicked, which I have likened to ashes, good only for the ash heap and nothing else ever again, the righteous’ hope is eternal and abiding. We will live forever more and flourish in the house our Lord where He has gone to make ready our rooms of refuge, our place of safety. I just finished a book called “The Emperor of All Maladies” (by Siddhartha Mukherjee, an oncologist in Ivy League territory), a history of cancer’s diagnosis and treatments. The author opens the book with an arresting note on the cancer statistics in America: one in three women and one in two men will acquire cancer in their lifetime. The book was written in 2010. But, I checked the National Cancer Institute website for 2022 and the statistics are unchanged. So, when you face that terminal diagnosis, which could very well be, as mine was, from cancer, fight the pressure to be afraid. Rejoice, for you of all people have a refuge even in death!
Medical Update:
Just a quick note to update my medical situation. They always do a CBC (complete blood count) before each treatment session. This time my WBC (white blood count) had dropped from 6.4 to 2.4 (low normal is 4.2), a drop of about 2/3’s if my rudimentary math skills haven’t failed me. This effect is one from the Taxol, the old school chemo drug, which attacks not only the cancer, but also the bone marrow (where the blood cells – red, white, and platelets- are made), especially the production of WBC’s. I am likely to drop close to or all the way to zero WBC’s this week. This is dangerous as I am open then to infections of almost any kind, but without the signs of infection (which come primarily from WBC’s), with the exception of fever. At this point, it’s not quite as dire as it sounds as the primary WBC that fights infections (neutrophils) is not as low as the other WBC’s. That’s the good news. The bad news is that I got another treatment following that drop in the number of WBC’s, which is why I said it is likely to go lower, and, sadly, why I didn’t attend worship this morning. The hope, the oncology nurse practitioner gave me, was that I do only three treatments sequentially, the third of which I just completed, and then I have a week off to give my bone marrow a chance to recover, at least somewhat. I’m hoping it will. Also, maybe there’s some possibility that my bone marrow may develop a tolerance to the drug. Seems unlikely, but you never know. Maybe God will show mercy!
Next: Which is Better?