By Brian Zimmerman
Begun on July 31, 2021
Email: dyingman1@yahoo.com
My Dying Words
Entry #83– Carrying About Death
May 6, 2023
[2Co 4:7-12] 7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; 8 [we are] afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. 11 For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So death works in us, but life in you.
Here’s one of those remarkable passages that gives us some glimpse into why, humanly speaking, Paul’s ministry was so successful. For though he and the other apostles have suffered cruel and harsh circumstances, Paul is still able to rejoice and see the good that God has brought out of those sufferings. By suffering as they did, they showed that they carried about the dying of Jesus, His pain and affliction, and yet because of His death, they never suffered defeat, never despaired, never gave up but continued to work to complete both the sufferings of Jesus and to finish their commission that they may show the new resurrection life and power at work in them. And, the Corinthians were a part of that manifestation of the new creation life.
It is difficult to remember here who Paul is writing to: a church that is rife with problems of the most serious and diverse kind. Problems involving warring factions, misunderstandings of marriage, the Lord’s Supper, spiritual gifts, as well as the report of incest. How could Paul see the life of Jesus being displayed in these professing disciples with these terrible sins roiling the entire Corinthian congregation? Only because the apostles carried with them the dying of Jesus. Jesus suffered so greatly for the Corinthians’ sins that Paul and the other apostles were willing to endure that same suffering and dying of their Savior to bring new life to the Corinthians. He knew that Jesus’ dying would move the apostles to continue in that mission and could bring repentance to this congregation.
But, he knew also these afflictions of death the apostles suffered could be suffered by any believer. So his example of carrying both the death and life of Jesus, and even rejoicing in these afflictions were not some abstract theological point and a practice limited to a few, but the reality of the power of God. This power was not only in Jesus and then Paul, but in the Corinthians as well. And, of course, it means it is in us also. We will suffer afflictions and troubles without end in this age because of the curse and afflictions of Satan. We, too, must carry about the dying of Jesus that the world may see our union with Him. Yet as with Paul and the Corinthians, life still works in us. The dying of Jesus may cause us to suffer for His name and for the good of others, but it is also so that we may have an unshakable joy and hope in the new life we have received.
So, don’t let the trials and worries that you suffer in this present evil age, not even when you receive that terminal diagnosis, move you to despair. You carry about not only the death, but also the power of the new life of Jesus. Rejoice in suffering as well as in hope!
NEXT: Death Has Been Abolished
MEDICAL UPDATE
I’ve had congestion in my sinuses and, worse, in my lungs for over a month. I’ve been on two antibiotics, and now they want me to take Mucinex and Claritin. I haven’t been able to taste anything for about 5 days but the Claritin did seem to help with the drainage and consequently with my sense of smell and taste. So, I may have originally had a viral and/or bacterial infection, but layered on that may have been seasonal allergies.
I had my next treatment this past Wednesday (today’s Friday, May 19). I had an appointment beforehand with one of the oncology PA’s, and she ordered a chest X-ray to be done that day just to check for pneumonia or pleurisy, but it turned out okay.
The treatment itself went better than it has in months. I had some brain fog and unsteadiness afterwards, but was still able to walk a block to the Carilion Imaging Center and what felt like another block to the X-ray department. I was very impressed with the additional strength I had. Of course, I had to go home on my 5-FU pump. I had someone this week ask me to explain the pump purpose so I’ll quickly repeat what I’ve said earlier about my regimen. I’m on three chemo drugs: Irinotecan, Ramucirumab (a monoclonal antibody), and 5-fluouracil. The first two I’m given by IV into my portacath in the IV treatment room, as I was this last Wednesday. The other, the 5-FU, I’m given by a pump over the course of two days because of what I’m assuming is its toxicity. So, no shower for two days and I continue to develop chemo side effects during that time: fatigue, unsteadiness, bowel issues, brain fog, hoarseness by the end of day 1 and continuing now (Friday) and worsening somewhat. But, still, overall, I feel better than I have for a while, so I’m praising God for that mercy. Usually I’m so weak that I can barely get out my chair on day 1 and don’t plan on doing anything that day except pray one of the prayers that my wife and I offer up every morning: “Give us grace under our afflictions.” But, yesterday (day 1) I actually was able to do a small amount of work, including my moving around some 40 lb. bags of mulch (not many and not far!).
But, I have good days and bad, and so I’m very grateful for the prayers of many and for the love I’m shown, often in words of encouragement, all evidence of God’s mercy even in the midst of His wise discipline for me.