Cancer Blog #97
By Brian Zimmerman
Begun on July 31, 2021
Email: dyingman1@yahoo.com
My Dying Words
Entry #97– Medical Update
December 15, 2023
Medical Update: Sorry I couldn’t get this entry posted first thing on the Friday after my treatment, but I just couldn’t do it. I’ll give just a short account day by day of my treatment and the aftermath.
Wednesday, December 13: I went for an extra treatment making it a once every two week treatment with the monoclonal antibody chemo drug (Ramucirumab), which is given by IV through my portacath. I met first with my oncology nurse practitioner, who told me several interesting things:
1. My CBC (complete blood count, measuring my bone marrow function) looked great. The CBC uses red blood cells (RBC’s), by testing for hemoglobin (that carries oxygen), white blood cells (WBC’s, fights infection), and platelets (assists in blood clotting) to estimate the marrow health. My hemoglobin was slightly below normal, my WBCs were normal, and my platelets jumped from 156 last time to 186, both of which are normal test values, but the 186 is closer to my own “normal” results. In addition, she said that despite the fact that they had pumped me full of chemo drugs for 2.5 years, these CBC values testified to how resilient my bone marrow continued to be. What can I say except thanks be to God! I have nothing to do with my bone marrow’s resilience. That is certainly all in God’s hands. Further, she reported that this time my lungs, as always, sounded very healthy, “clear as a bell”. “What about the squeak?” I asked. “Not there,” she said, and wasn’t really an issue any way. “But,” I said, “I’m getting the extra Ramucirumab treatment because of it.” She laughed and said, “You needn’t have bothered.” “Oh well, “I replied, “at least I might be able to separate the side effects of one drug from another.” “Leave it to you,” she said, “to use your treatment session as a science experiment.” I took that as a compliment, though perhaps unintended.
My treatment was fairly short. I left feeling slightly queasy and mildly unsteady with a very sharp pain in my left TMJ (temporomandibular joint), i.e., the left jaw joint) that went away fairly shortly, thank the Lord. I slept that night okay without taking the Zyprexa, probably because she had dropped the amount of steroid this session and because the nausea wasn’t that bad.
Thursday, December 14: I was queasy and slight unsteady upon waking, but was still able to go to an early eye exam (I left the house at 730am). It was all good, but I did remember to ask the MD who did the exam about a treatment for the irritation in my right eye as it had gotten worse in the past several weeks. It made my eye hurt at times, and caused my eye to water more so that my vision in that eye was blurry at times. He said that I could continue to use the over the counter (OTC) eye itch (antihistamine) eye drops, or look for eye drops that used to be prescription and now were OTC. They’re antihistamine but apparently use a newer type of antihistamine plus maybe some other drug? I didn’t push for details. They are identified by their name ending in –A. So, my wife bought Opcon-A and she started applying those. They do seem to work better, and my eyes are less irritated with less blurring, though still not perfect.
My nausea on Thursday was improved as was my unsteadiness.
Friday, December 15: The best day I’ve had in I don’t know how long! I was even able to do some yard work, raking leaves from one of the flower beds for 10-15 whole minutes before having to go sit down and catch my breath. I mowed with the leaf catcher attached to the lawn mower and bagged the mulched leaves. It was a wonderful two hours! Afterwards, my wife and I ate Chinese and watched a show. God granted me a good day. No nausea or unsteadiness.
Saturday, December 16: More lethargy, probably from the steroid levels dropping, even falling asleep while trying to pray with my wife. So, the energy yesterday was attributable to the steroid levels, not, I doubt, that they were very high, but because they were closer to my normal levels than usual. Still, all in all, a good day, with a visit from a buddy as an added bonus.
My next treatment is in two weeks from Wednesday, December 13, or, in other words, the Wednesday after Christmas (December 27). I’ll resume the same two drug infusions that I’ve been on for months but will be on a once every 3 week regime now.
Where this schedule is all going is beyond me. God controls all these things, and where it leads is up to Him. But, it has entailed some good things. For instance, I went to the cemetery before my treatment to set up the burial arrangements (e.g., opening and closing the grave, marker, etc.) to avoid my wife having to make or to pay for those. I’m so grateful I’ve been granted this continued extension of life to do things like these cemetery arrangements. And, it’s looking likely that I will be celebrating another Xmas, and possibly another birthday this coming February (I’ll be 72 years old).
This discipline of a terminal illness that God has given me, which has become more a chronic illness now, has been a constant effort, but I’m grateful to get to know my Savior and my wife better each day. I’ve had the opportunity to spend more time with my children and grandchildren. The great love of my brothers and sisters has been a blessing that I never would have experienced without this illness. God’s plan is always better than ours, and works to change us in ways we could never foresee, or, in many ways, deserve. What a wonderful Father who should love us so much! Work hard at accepting God’s will for your life, even when He brings hard things for you to confront. If you’re having difficulty accepting those painful things, sit down and read Hebrews 12, slowly and carefully, and then pray those verses. It will make all the difference. Trust me. I have done it.